Be YOU, for YOU.

Who wants to live a life pretending to be someone they’re not? Definitely not me. However, I unfortunately spent some of my life living this way.

When I was about 16, my self-esteemed declined and my self-image was very distorted. On a subconscious, sometimes even on a conscious level, I felt very unseen and unworthy of anyone’s attention. I didn’t take up as much space as I would have liked and I was afraid to be myself most of the time. I didn't know who I was to be very frank.

On the contrary however, primary school was a different story. Completely different. In primary school, even up until I was 15 in high school, I was an extrovert. I was the social butterfly at school and at every function. I wasn’t afraid to speak up or say what was on my mind and I stood strong in knowing that I was always myself, never pretending or conforming to what I had to be. I was just me. I knew I could make a whole room laugh and smile, and I was pretty mature enough to have meaningful conversations with the adults in my life at the time. Being the eldest child gave me an enormous amount of confidence too. My parents always praised me for setting a good example at school and at home and I’m sure at 12 years old, I was convinced I could rule the world. But all of that slowly withered away once I approached my mid-teens.

And so the question was left for me to ponder: who am I?

Well, I often found myself thinking about the younger version of me and how ambitious and fearless she was. Since being in my 20’s, I’ve learnt ways to completely and utterly surrender myself to being that 12-year-old girl again. One of the ways I do this, is through dancing. I love to dance! I was a dancer most of my childhood and teenage years and have always had an incredible amount of love and passion for music and the way it can make a person move and feel. Not a lot of people know this about me though. I guess I don’t share it enough!

Another way I allow myself to embrace my most authentic self, is through writing. Whether it be hand written or on a Word document, writing really is soothing and therapeutic to me. There's no filter required and I can write about almost anything. It's incredibly liberating, in my eyes.

Free yourself

Authenticity has helped me stay afloat the past few years. Being able to express myself through music and dancing has granted me the opportunity to connect with this world and the beautiful people in it. It has also shown me my most vulnerable side of myself. To be lost in sound and free in movement is something I will never take for granted.

Free your mind from whatever it is you think you have to be, and just be. Remember the life you're living is yours to be free in. If you find yourself comfortable and confident enough to be your most authentic self, then you're doing something right!

Keep the keepers

Being yourself will welcome those who are aligned with you and it will also scare away those who don’t. If you want people to love you for you, then you must love and accept yourself first. Your inner child will always feel safe enough with people who allow you to be yourself. That's who you want to surround yourself around. Don't worry, your people will find you, have no doubt about that. As a wise friend once told me, do what you love and love what you do. You will continue to attract people who will love and appreciate YOU!

Love yourself

I’ve enjoyed taking time to get to know and understand myself. I’m an avid reader and love to write. I pour so much into the pages of my journals and have been doing so ever since I could write. These pages have become timestamps of my life on paper and have documented every truth and experience of my very existence. It is within these pages that I seek my identity most of the time. My thoughts, my likes, my dislikes, my crushes, my foes, my painful memories, my hopes and my dreams – me. I get to step back and reflect on who I am and how I can improve myself in any and every aspect of my life. I’m aware of what I lack and where I need to pour into myself more; where I need to dedicate more self-love and ways I can set boundaries that will enable me to do so.

Dedicate some time to educate yourself, on yourself. What makes you happy and why? What makes you upset and why? Understanding the things or people that can evoke particular emotions within us can be great way to start self-reflection. It's also a great step in aligning yourself with who you truly are. In understanding yourself, you can become a lot more enlightened about the world around you. My dad taught me that everything begins with you and the universe reflects that, but I never quite understood this until the last year or so. Get to know yourself and where you perhaps need to improve or do better. There's always more to learn about yourself, trust me.

Also, while I have you hear reading about love, just know that it isn’t exclusive to romance. I used to think a "love life" was non-existent if you were not in a relationship or dating someone. When really, love is all around you. Your very existence is love itself! Love can be anything. It’s listening to your favourite music or dancing with your best friend. It’s messaging your parents to ask them how they’re doing. It’s an inside joke you have with a sibling or a co-worker. It’s making time for a hobby of yours or improving on a new skill. It’s going out to eat with someone you haven’t seen in a while. It’s showing up to the gym even when you don’t feel up for it. Love is everything and it will always start firstly and foremost with you!

So keep showing up as yourself, for yourself.

I wish you well.

With much love,

SG.